As far as family gatherings with this group go, it was fairly banal. And when the word "banal" covers the inclusion of a mechanical bull in Thanksgiving festivities, you know you've got an insane group on your hands. No tables were flipped, no drinks were thrown and no weaves were tugged....

Can I just be a little serious for a second? It is monumentally, almost incomparably stupid to drink and get on one of those. Are there people out there who don't know someone who's died on one of those things? Because I certainly do. Caroline did. It's not uncommon. Particularly if you're a...

And to that I say, if you're letting a random woman move into your house after a month of dating, then you're going to get what you're asking for and the other person is not to blame for your near-limitless stupidity. But Melissa seems to put up with a lot of disgusting behavior from...

Not cool! Thankfully, Bravo is one of those networks that always plays its programming over and over again, ad nauseum, and I was able to catch the replay. So for everyone who normally livetweets with me: Apologies! I'll set a phone alarm or something next week. Anyway, last night's episode...

Thankfully, I was wrong; that was 90 minutes of pure, unbridled, off-the-rails insanity that we haven't seen since the last time our dear, sweet Teresa flipped a table. So here we have it, the longest recap I've ever written about one of the best episodes of reality television in recent...

) vibe, and for a moment, it looked as though Kathy might have understood exactly what a stupid idea it was to buy a huge restaurant space just because you like to cook. But that was a reasonable thought, and reasonable thoughts die quick, excruciating deaths on Real Housewives, so she quickly...

She and Teresa then got together to write the letter, at which point it became pretty clear that Teresa has never bothered to be the bigger person once in her entire stupid life, which is probably because doing that requires a level of intellectual sophistication that just doesn't seem to...

It was amazing that Jacqueline didn't reach out and ring her neck immediately, or knock that stupid hat off her head, at the very least. I could feel women all over American trying to reach through the television to do it for her, and if ever there were a good argument for sealing up your...

And because I love Caroline and her occasional "Let me tell YOU something about MY family" outbursts almost more than I love life itself, I don't mind a little buildup. But that means that we have to get through this episode first before we're allowed the good stuff, even though the Very...

As a result, I can only do one, and priority goes to Jersey because it's still in its regular season. Also, because the reunion was boring as hell last night. Not that Real Housewives of New Jersey was really much better. Teresa and Nonjuicy still aren't getting along. Melissa's still the...

 

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